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In 2012, I had 2 operations back-to-back. It was an excruciating and grueling recovery. I was doing well until about 8wks post-op when I broke my back (T12 transverse process) in therapy. I spent another 10 days in the hospital and a month in an acute rehab facility. I was in a clamshell brace for over 8 months with no improvement. I underwent surgery #5 on 11/20/12 and required a 6th surgery on 11/24 due to serious complications. After spending another month in the hospital, I finally came home on 12/21/12. Recovery has been difficult and challenges seem to pop up whenever they get the chance. My most pronounced challenge are these terrible positional headaches that started in early 2013. I had a prior CSF leak in Nov 2012 however both the neurosurgeon and ortho surgeon believe it's occurring all over again as my brain MRI shows "clear & obvious indications of a CSF leak." I had at least 1/2 dozen consults with various specialists to determine what would be the best course of treatment and since bed rest hasn't worked, surgery is the only option left. Surgery #7 is full of unknowns regarding length of surgery, stay and recovery.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

How Great Thou Art...

Well, January 24th is now only 6 days away.  I woke up with a song in my head and it is absolutely without a doubt, one of my favorite songs ever.  I remember getting this song in an email many months ago.  I cried.  And when i replayed it, I cried again.  And I downloaded it on iTunes to my phone and when I hear, I cry some more.  I just love this song and it's ability to strike the soul in the manner with which it strikes mine is just amazing.  It is "How Great Thou Art," sung by Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill at the CMA's last year I believe.  It is beautiful.  Turn on your speakers, sit back, and have a listen (even if you're not a country music lover like myself, I know you'll be touched by it).  Here it is:

Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill

So with that...after listening to that song about 30 times a day (or atleast 4-5 since I started typing this), for today, I will not focus on my pain - on what hurts - on how overwhelmed and scared I'm feeling.  I will think about "How Great Thou Art" and try to remind myself that for today, God is greater than any pain I am feeling.  I have 6 days to go before things start taking a turn for the better and waking up at 3am with all the pain I feel ends.  For today, I will remind myself of my strength instead of my weaknesses; I will remind myself of my hopeful anticipations and not focus on my fears; and for today, I will remind myself of just HOW GREAT THOU ART for walking beside me, guiding me and eventually carrying me through this. 

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (NIV)

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