About Me

My photo
In 2012, I had 2 operations back-to-back. It was an excruciating and grueling recovery. I was doing well until about 8wks post-op when I broke my back (T12 transverse process) in therapy. I spent another 10 days in the hospital and a month in an acute rehab facility. I was in a clamshell brace for over 8 months with no improvement. I underwent surgery #5 on 11/20/12 and required a 6th surgery on 11/24 due to serious complications. After spending another month in the hospital, I finally came home on 12/21/12. Recovery has been difficult and challenges seem to pop up whenever they get the chance. My most pronounced challenge are these terrible positional headaches that started in early 2013. I had a prior CSF leak in Nov 2012 however both the neurosurgeon and ortho surgeon believe it's occurring all over again as my brain MRI shows "clear & obvious indications of a CSF leak." I had at least 1/2 dozen consults with various specialists to determine what would be the best course of treatment and since bed rest hasn't worked, surgery is the only option left. Surgery #7 is full of unknowns regarding length of surgery, stay and recovery.

Friday, October 26, 2012

The Perfect Storm...

Ok, remember when I wrote about finding humor and laughter in painful situations?? Well, now is the perfect scenario to try it again (try being the key word here...)  Me, with my multi-colored highlighters in hand, my multiple-sized calendars (one for almost every room of the house), and all of my never-ending iPhone, iPad and laptop 'alerts' and 'reminders' - Well, I didn't quite plan for this one. I was hoping to spend the weekend de-stressing and trying to relax and instead my anxiety is building over what is coming...the uninvited guest who is about to wreak havoc on us...but I had other plans - and it didn't involve "Sandy." And so fear of what will happen, fear of the unknown - that is what i'm struggling with right now. So, as the Army says, I am trying very hard to just 'embrace the suck.' Like it or not. Embrace it. Acknowledge it. I can't fight it or change it so I'm just trying to get through it. Easier said than done...but i'm trying!

And like it or not, "Sandy" is heading our way. She is jeopardizing my surgery on Tuesday - and all those pints of blood I donated (which expire 30 days after you donate it). She's putting a lot of question marks in my weekend and adding a whole lot of extra stress that I really don't want or need right now. I'm not a fan of "Sally" and I want her to just go away so that I can get this thing over and done with already! "The perfect storm," the hurricane of all hurricanes," "Frankenstorm" (thank Christine!) is coming and I'm trying very hard to just let go and breathe - and trust that everything will go the way they're meant to go - whether it's my way or not. I'm trying to remain steadfast...focused...calm...this too shall pass...I'm trying to just get through the weekend...and get to Tuesday...and if Tuesday comes and goes and I end up NOT having surgery, I have to accept it and just trust that things will work out - I have no choice and it's futile to worry about it. I won't know if surgery is a go or not until Monday afternoon/evening - if the surgeon can't get to the hospital Tuesday morning, then my surgery won't happen - I just pray that if it IS postponed, it's not postponed too long so that my pints of blood expire - I have to trust Him - I do trust Him - I'm just scared.


"Everyone goes through trials and tribulations; however, those who remain steadfast in God’s Word have the advantage of patiently enduring knowing that God gives them victory every time."
(Isaiah 40:31)

Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)