It has been a looooooong time since I posted - and for that, my apologies! It has been a whirlwind of a time. Having had not one but two surgeries (11/15/2012 and then an infection made for a second surgery 4 hours in length on 11/20/2012). I spent a month in the hospital, several days in the the critical care unit, then another few days in ICU and then finally into a regular room. A 4-day stay at Magee Rehab was short-lived because I developed something called "Drug Fever" in which I was literally growing sicker and sicker with each passing day because I was allergic to the medicine I was on for the post-op infection, but it took them 2 weeks to figure that out. I had fevers of well over 104 degrees, drenching sweats followed by bone-chilling shakes and chills - that went on 2-3 times a day and lasted 2 weeks before the specialists at the hospital even had an clue what was wrong. They ran so many blood cultures that I became dangerously anemic, losing 1/2 my blood volume from both post-op bleeding and post-op infection and blood tests. I developed bilateral pleural effusions, and needed to have the fluid drained in my lungs and surrounding space with needles. That sucked...alot...I don't ever remember being more afraid of dying in my entire life, ever actually. I remember quite vividly nearing my 2nd post-op week in the hospital (almost 4 weeks in the hospital at that point) and pleading my Mom, "You have to get me out of here...tomorrow...if they don't figure out what's wrong with me I'm going to die...and I can't...die..." It was by far the scariest time of my entire life, aside from when my daughter required life-saving lung surgery to remove a tumor the size of an apple from her tiny chest at just 4 weeks of age. THAT was the scariest time...this was the 2nd scariest...it was an ordeal, for me, my husband, my two very young children and my parents - who gave up 1/2 of their year to move in with us and help us with everything, big and little and in between. It was a trying time, a scary very uncertain time, but all the while, we never lost hope...we never expected less than a miracle...and by the grace of God, we got one...we got alot of them....
Below is a poem that took several weeks to write...I decided to share it on here because I believe in it...I hope you like it....
MAKER OF THE UNIVERSE
Maker of the universe, of fire wind
and rain
How was I to go through that and ever be the same?
Maker of the universe, Your
strength so great and true
How was I to find the strength if I
did not lean on you?
Maker of the universe, Your love so
strong and sound
You wrapped me in your tenderness,
I prayed I would be found.
Maker of the universe, You carried
me through my fears
In your arms of love and safety,
you wiped away my tears.
Maker of the universe, You know me
like no other
How am I to be a better person,
wife and mother?
Maker of the universe, forgiveness
is your doing
Give me grace when I have sinned
and lead me where I’m going.
Maker of the universe, all praise
and glory is yours
You alone are the reason why I’m
standing on these shores.
Maker of the universe, You’re full
of awesome power
Give me strength to carry on until
my final hour.
Maker of the universe, I can
finally see the light
My days are turning brighter as
I’ve battled through the fight.
I made it through the toughest
times, with You I have not faltered
My path, although a crooked one, I
never would have altered.
---------------------------------
You see…struggles are perspective-based, it depends
on how you view them
Don’t question why or second-guess, to do so is just
futile
Instead…accept the things you cannot change and use
them for good purpose
To live your life, as your Maker would have you live
it, and praise Him for all things.
God is Great…Expect Miracles
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