Deja Vu...Wasn't I Just Here???

Well, all I can say is "WASTN'T I JUST HERE?? DIDN'T WE JUST GO THRU ALL THIS??" In just 6 weeks, i will have my 5th spinal reconstruction - my 3rd of this year alone. The thought of that just hasn't really hit me yet. I can say it....but it's almost like i don't really believe it yet. But like it or not, that date (OCT.30th) will come and I'll be back on that operating table before I know it. This time though, it needs to work. It needs to needs to needs to work! A broken back is extremely painful, for those of you who have never experienced it. Back pain in general, even without a broken back, is at best excruciating at times. If I hadn't broken my back in mid-March, I truly believe I would be doing very well at this point (8 months post-op). But, that's not what happened. So we move forward. Do I have a choice? Quite simply, no.

I get asked ATLEAST 2-3 times a week by someone, anyone - a friend, a family member, neighbor - they say, "I don't know how you do it. Two youngs kids 3 and 5 and all that goes with it." And again, i just smile and, "Quite honestly, I don't know either - all I know is that I don't have a choice. I don't get to sit and moan and groan about what hurts and boo hoo to the kids." They're kids! They're just doing what kids do - it's ME, it's Mommy who feels broken and is in constant pain. I guess if I were to really answer that question honestly, I'd say, "Well, I pray...alot lately - and i just get by and live in survival mode." As long as the kids are clean, fed, dressed and semi-happy (haha), then that's good enough for me. And by 'semi-happy' I mean not throwing themselves on the floor having a tantrum over which sneakers to wear or what princess panties to wear!  There is some laughter in our house but honestly, it's so hard to be a happy "good" Mommy when you're in constant, unrelenting stabbing pain with any movement. SO, like I said - we're in survival mode and we're getting by - taking each day as it comes and doing the best we can to be happy, polite, loving and respectful to one another.

So, I am T-minus 6 weeks and counting...the surgery is expected to last approximately 8 hours and it will be done at Cooper again. As you've probably read, I'm fused L1-S1 into the pelvis. With this upcoming surgery the doctor will remove the rods, add screws on either side of my spine from T12 (the broken vertebra) all the way up to T2 - - basically my entire back will be fused from top to bottom including my pelvis. He will then extend rods on either side of my spine to stabilize the entire thing. The #1 risk is bleeding, which I had a big problem with on the 2nd surgery of this year with losing 1/2 of my blood volume. The second biggest risk is infection - apparently because I have so much scar tissue from all of my previous spinal reconstructions, all that's left is scar tissue (whereas someone else would have muscle). Apparently, scar tissue has a very high incidence for infection...great...just great...SO, i will be on antibiotics again before and after surgery, and they will also re-infuse the blood I lose back into me during surgery after filtering it - and again I'll have to donate 3 pints of blood (1 pint a week 3 weeks before surgery).  YUCK - that's the worst part. Well, one of the worst parts. So that's the summary of what's happening and what WILL happen in just 6 weeks.

As always, your prayers and support are very much appreciated.

8 Weeks and counting....

Well, a LOT has happened since last i wrote back at the end of July. And i apologize for not keeping up with my blog but i didn't feel it was important to write about the minutia of my daily struggles or reading depressing posts, so i waited til i had something worth writing about to post. You get the idea.

Anyway, to start....the shots i had for "SI dysfuntion/arthopathy" didn't work because as i said all along, it's not my SI joint (sacro-iliac joint) that is causing my pain - but hey, what do i know? I'm just the patient. But the pain dr and my ortho dr insisted that it was most likely the SI joint giving me pain and problems.  Uh...huh...right...okay then, so i get them done - wait - wait - and wait some more and nothing (as i expected). So once it was clarified that it was a big waist of time (my interpretation not theirs of course! haha!), i decided what's the point in waiting [for surgery, that is]...this back brace that i've been wearing since March 24th is not working (that's over 5 months!) - and I wore/wear it religiously, even now, when i don't really have to wear it anymore...i wear it...just in case - oh let's say I fall off a porch, for instance!  It's good to have it on.  And speaking of falling off porches, which i did last week without even thinking about it, accidents can and do happen - so i wear the brace all the time.

So on August 25th, my Uncle Larry took me to the sureons office to discuss, ask questions about and discuss the specifics of my upcoming 3rd spine surgery.  I, myself, even typing this can not believe #3 is just 8 weeks from tomorrow:

          WHAT:     3rd back surgery (see below for details)
          WHEN:     10/30/12
          WHERE:   Cooper University Hospital
          WHY:        T12 transverse process is still broken with no signs of healing
          TIME:        Early AM on Tuesday 10/30
          LENGTH OF SURGERY:    Estimated at 8+ hours start to finish

Here's what Dr. Clements will do to stabilize my back and T12 fracture:

• He will go in and explore the fusion, tighening any exhisting loose screws, removing any bone spurs that may have formed.
• He will ADD pedicle screws from 1 level above where my current fusion beings (L1); so in my case he will first add screws upward starting at T12,11,10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3 and end at T2 which is very high up on the spine--S1 to T2---that's a 15-16 level fusion...that's enormous.
• He will then REMOVE the current rods and put 2 new rods fomr T2 to T12.
• The major risks for this surgery are BLEEDING & INFECTION.  It was explained to me and my Uncle as being a lot more risky with regard to bleeding and infection due to the number of major back surgeries I will have had on my spine *which 4 before this surgery* He said because i have so much scar tissue, that makes me much more susceptible to infection. I had NO idea scar tissue had a higher incidence of infection as opposed to muscle.  And basically since my spine is ALL scar tissue up and down my, back why he said that.
• As for the loss of blood (last surgery i lost HALF my blood volume, he's going to add a blood recirculation machine so whatever blood I do lose will go right back into my body and then after surgery, i'll also get the blood that i donated back as needed.

SO there ya have it.  The "nuts and bolts" of it all.  In 8 weeks this will all be a distant memory!

So here's some good news: our Katie Kakes spent her first night in her big girl bed last night with NO problems whatsoever!!!  She LOVES her new princess sheets and blanket and pillow! Thank goodness for Walmart!  And Matt starts soccer next Saturday so we're very excited about spending our Saturday morning hour at his games :) - - they are, and continue to be my #1 priority in all of this and i want to try and keep everything as normal and routine as possible for their sake. And yes, my Mom & Dad will be shortly before my surgery to help out with the kids and help with me! I'm so blessed to have such loving and supportive family and friends.  I honestly don't know WHAT i would do without them in my life. I am so grateful to have them during such a scary time. But we WILL get through this. We will.